Cosmic Reverie

"The cosmic reverie … is a phenomenon of solitude which has its roots in the soul of the dreamer.

Cosmic reveries separate us from project reveries. They situate us in a world and not in a society. The cosmic reverie possesses a sort of stability or tranquility. It helps us escape time. It is a state. Let us get to the bottom of its essence: it is a state of mind… Poetry supplies us with documents for a phenomenology of the soul. The entire soul is presented in the poetic universe of the poet."

- Gaston Bachelard

Elevator

"Just let yourself fall already."
I was still afraid to open my eyes
The elevator door opened at 9:12am.  I have no idea how long I've been in here, since my phone died and I have no other way to check the time.
The only company I have is the sound of my growling stomach.
And a song stuck in my head.
I have a shovel at least, to dig my subconscious.
And a big mirror.
Too bad the light's out.
Sitting in a lotus position, it's so soothing to just...
Allow my own emptiness to consume me...
My desire is a never ending spiral, vibrating from all the pain.
Crying out for help.
"Yes, how can I help you? Yeah I'd like to find the purpose of life. Would you like fries with that?"
Fuck it, while I'm at it, I might as well fall victim of my own illusions just to pass time.
And scream.
At the top of my lungs.
It's ridiculous. I'm trapped in this elevator, where, as a kid, I'd play with the buttons.
Now, they're just staring at me, almost laughing.
I'm stuck somewhere between the eighth and the ninth.
Eight is just God who decided to stand up.
Too bad he can't reach 9 so I can get off.
I guess that's my purpose.
To figure out how to get to 9.
Laughing hysterically, banging on the walls.
The echo fades away like a riff.
Each time.
I filled my life with echos, only because they sounded good, but in the end, they all faded away.
I look in the mirror. There's someone staring at me. It's hypnotic.
I forgot who I am.
It's absurd.
I think for the past three or four hours I've been yelling "what?!" every two minutes.
Each time I throw the question, I reel back more emptiness.
I wish I had a bed.
I couldn't sleep either way. It's been years since I've slept.
What if I painted something on the mirror?
I'm somewhere in my subconscious.
If I'd start paining, I'd do it in a trance state, then wake up to a finished painting of... myself.
Whose eyes are those?
Why bother spying on me? Can't you see I'm schizophrenic?
Hey. Look at me when I'm talking to you!
Looks like I scared him off.
Even the Devil is afraid of boredom.
There's a memo glued to the ceiling.
"All you need is love."
Suddenly, the elevator falls to zero.
Fuck. I was so close.
Well, it's always fun starting over.

mixed emotions

stuck

in a cloud

with the quiet pain

in which I indulge

like a ruin.

above, a rainbow

that I keep trying to grab

and I keep falling

in these clouds

of clueless ideas.

I look up and see

two bright stars

your eyes.

like fire,

they’re the center

of an eternal dance.

I see my shadows

spinning around them

an unmistakable spark

in the abyss.

falling forever

one day

at a time.

one spark

one bright spark

and I’ll be gone.

below, two bluebirds

uniting the sky and the earth…

what a dance!

if only

I would fall already.

I don’t care

if you catch me

I’m happy

in my beautiful

misery.

so run

in any direction

the light is never far.

how could it be

if you’re it?

Time

Mourning the loss of my old friend, time

I tick with impatience on the clock named Earth

And see up above a star named fate

Prophet and sage, winking at me

Only far in the eyes of ignorance

Falling apart with each resurrection

As tears flow from them, freeing their fire

Reflecting more and more

On the clock named Earth

As it slowly turns

Towards its final hour.

Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Love

Love is not something that you fall in. Love is something you dig up yourself, fill with water, jump in and swim. And you don't just dig a hole, you dig an ocean. That you get to enjoy after you're done digging.

Will

Existence is energy moved around and expressed through will.
Terence Mckenna says "We tend to disempower ourselves. We tend to believe that we don't matter and in the act of taking that idea to ourselves, we give everything away to somebody else, to something else."
The idea here is that by submitting your will to something you don't actually want to do (i.e you want to quit smoking but you're tempted to smoke a cigarette), you're actually manifesting the opposite of your free will's real intention.
The basis is this. If you don't use your will, you don't exist. If you don't take matter into your own hands (see that beautiful expression?), you aren't actually contributing to existence.

Eternal

"The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms."

~ Lao Tzu

Apocalypse

“The apocalypse is not something which is coming. The apocalypse has arrived in major portions of the planet and it’s only because we live within a bubble of incredible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticipating the apocalypse.”
– Terence McKenna

Thoughts

Thoughts are immortal.

What are we building then?

Bridges, buildings, better technology?

Funny you thought that was the goal.

That’s included, obviously. Better thoughts means better exterior reality. Exterior reality is a reflection of the thoughts manifested in a certain space. But space is subject to time. Time is subject to cycles. Cycles are subject to birth and death. Thoughts aren't.

So my question is, can something eternal be the product of a mortal being?