Monday, December 15, 2014

Fragment

I can feel my cells tingling in a frenzy of confusion and longing for your presence, because your absence got them scattered across galaxies looking for you. I feel distant from myself without you. I’m not here.
But when I’m confined in your eyes, I feel freer than in any conceivable utopia. I allow your gaze to consume my flame because I know that I have to keep your soul warm. This is just a preparation – an exercise. We are evaporating symbols of the fog that haunts us in our deepest sleep. It’s confined in dreams we don’t remember, because we’re too busy deafening ourselves with music that seduces and sedates us into non-being. We are the result of a long, hard battle fought against ourselves, and for millennia, we’ve been barely winning.
Here, stay here, or I will reel you in with question marks. I eat up my syllables hoping to grow wiser. You’re the only one I’ve Found.

I’m the lava that decided to breathe, knowing it will freeze by doing so. Its only relief is that it passes on its heat into something that solidifies as an eternal statue, transcending its yell of defiance and reaching the bliss it could never have in its state of unstirred passion before its release.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Love Confined This Spider to Freedom

Midnight caught me at my desk listening to Latin American music, looking at your beautiful big purple crystal for inspiration. Rene Ferrer is singing, and Picasso’s Old Guitarist on my wall is playing his guitar in a spontaneous rush of ecstasy.
Love can’t be counted. Lies are counted.
Love is felt. And the world knows nothing of what that feeling means to me.
That is why I write. You – my tangible mirror. Found me and grabbed me into your universe. I felt your touch and it confined my prison.
It made me wake up (not then, but it happened now, as I’m writing this; still a consequence of that touch!) to the fact that right now, I’m only writing drafts. The images I’m conjuring in my passion are but archetypes with a few webs sown between them. The writing – its external form – is the web (still in its youth). Each word that describes an image is an end of the web, a nod.
To he who has never loved: Behold thy sin! Your heart is free of you! It runs away from your illusions and awaits you at the end of the tunnel you keep on building.
If you want to find it, look behind the web.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Advice for a friend

Q:  How can one know that one is evolving, in any sphere - spirituality, mysticism, being a nice person, achieving something etc. ?

A: You're always evolving. The matter comes down to how you interpret the processes of your evolution. What I mean by that is, everything in your life is an evolution, because life itself is a becoming, and each moment is a "becoming", where the only important factor is YOUR free will, how you choose to perceive that moment, regardless of the positive or negative appearance of the moment. "The problem is not the problem, the problem is how you choose to react to the problem."
So you can track your evolution by seeing if you react wisely to each situation presented to you on a day-to-day basis. Always remember that each moment is a lesson, a "test" if you will. And if you pass the test, you evolve, if you don't, the test is rescheduled and you're given more preparation time.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Where Dreams Grow

Warm tears to water the soil under my eyelids… where dreams grow…
The only thing standing between us is the rainbow built by the sun’s rays. A bridge between our souls, a playground for us to slide on… mixing colours together to leave behind a more diverse universe… Each smile is a half-moon and decades fly past us in seconds… It’s actually us flying past them…
Faster, away from time and space, we fly.
Matter is nothing but a cluster of complex layers of shadows – a cloth blurring our sight… A cloth that clings like ivy and wraps itself tight over our eyes like skin…
But once we shed it by shedding our light on it, we discover ourselves to be the only reality there ever was.
Always us…
Once the tidal waves fill the symbols on the shore with water, bleeding their brilliance over the moon’s reflection, spilling the world’s secrets to its guardian angel, we will conquer our mind’s confusion and find comfort in each other’s eyes alone…
Need will be erased from our vocabulary and all pain will become bliss in our Heart.
I found you, as simple as that.
Forever, I found you.
Each time, over and over.
No decay, just becoming.
Rebirth until death extinguishes itself.
Tonight, I cried with the moon’s reflection in my eyes… And the moon cried back and bled its silence to mourn my death’s death.
And the world was transfigured before my eyes. I saw what the oceans were hiding and cried another ocean… The universe has its ways of concealing its inmost built-in secrets.
All songs end in silence… The most beautiful silence. The same silence that has our gazes entangled.
Where will I find you after the Flood?
I wish I could keep these tears embedded with your reflection forever…
I’ve waited all my life at the gates of Mystery alone…
Now, I finally have someone to wait with…
Their opening is certain… It is the symbol of certainty itself. But it is up to us not to enter alone.
Will you hold my hand when our gaze slips within itself?
Will you meet me when we take our first breath into eternity?
This story has no ending. It doesn’t matter if I keep writing or not, it will write and fulfill itself…

Life has no conclusion to offer us, but our hearts do.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Near

Far.
I swing my heap of gold.
Into unknown territory.
It was eating me alive.
But I conquered it.
It was as if a cobra was dancing on my belly while I was chained to the ground.
Funnily enough, I got rid of that feeling simply by closing my eyes.
Not by imagining I’m in some other place.
Just by closing my eyes and doing nothing.
Accepting the impending death. Come on, get on with it.
But then I opened them. And what I saw was definitely not what I expected.
I didn’t expect anything actually. I have no idea what happened. To this day.
But it happened.
And so, I must say. I am grateful for it.
For almost getting killed.
Maybe I did get killed and now I’m in a higher state of consciousness, but apparently in the same body. I don’t know.
But what I saw was that I had no heap of gold to begin with. It was all a shiny illusion.
And it was so easy to let go of it.
It was required of me to do so. Otherwise, maybe I would’ve actually gotten killed.
It was a test to see if I’m true to myself.
Well. Now I’m just sitting lazily and enjoying the snake’s dance, wondering what happens next.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Always Somewhere... Somewhere, Always

Colouring each breath, slipping on sighs, the world is a big fountain and we flow on it.
Where are you when I close my eyes? In my dreams? Physical?
I find you somewhere else each time.
Your beauty is not out there.
It’s inside.
I found it in me.
I wiped a tear on your hair and made it glow. Now my vision is blurred but I can still see the shape of eternity because it has no outlines.
Reality has no rules, love… you’re a spoon, I’m a cup and I’m filled with my love for you, and you stir it slowly, massaging all of my deepest fears to ecstasy. Finding you was the worst nightmare for my ego. It dies painful deaths each moment it’s lit by the sparks in your eyes as my soul falls down their abyss. Your rabbit hole is my favourite roller coaster. Up, down, left, right, center, the plot is like the flight of a bird with a missing wing. What a monstrosity we committed by flying. We’re not meant to fly, said the voice in the shadow. But when I turned on the light, I saw a mirror… but I could not see myself in it, because it could not contain me anymore. The mirror didn’t realise I turned on the light. But you did. And your eyes are the only place I can see my Self. When you close your eyes, I disappear. So stay awake! Don’t worry, this is a dream, and we’re both in it. And we’re leaving together.
Will you hold my hand when our breaths’ colours start fading away? Will you slide with me on a last sigh and fall with me when we get to the cascade?
I find you somewhere else each time.
I find you somewhere else each time.

I find Time somewhere else with you.




Monday, October 27, 2014

Souls

We are unaware of the connections we have with other people. When we meet certain people, we recognize them instantly on an unconscious level. Our souls know each other, it's just a matter of remembering who we truly are.

Monday, October 20, 2014

A Dreamer

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
- Oscar Wilde

Saturday, October 4, 2014

blanked thoughts

"More and more I found myself at a loss for words and didn’t want to hear other people talking either. Their conversations seemed false and empty. I preferred to look at the sea, which said nothing and never made you feel alone."
—Paula McLain