Saturday, September 13, 2014


"We are quite probably dreaming all the time, but consciousness makes so much noise that we no longer hear the dream when awake."
- Carl Jung, Children's Dreams

Friday, September 5, 2014


Love is this path that demands to be walked. It’s a story that demands to be written. Every time you try to leave it, it follows you home and knocks on your door til you open. It smiles and comes in without letting you say a word, sits on your couch and starts telling you its problems, as if you didn’t have anything important to solve, like what to do with your life and how to do something without getting nudged every day by an incessant tick constantly reminding you of some promise you apparently made before you were born. Which stream of thoughts do I follow to get to the bottom of this? I tried thousands, and all lead to the same answer: I don’t know. Do I keep digging to find out if there’s any meaning to it or do I finally throw my shovel and yell “Abort mission!”? Who in their right mind would do either of those things? And who in their right mind would just sit and do nothing?! That’s what I mean by Stuck. I just want to swing, God damn it! What don’t you get?

"Reason becomes unreason when separated from the heart." - C. G. Jung

Friday, July 25, 2014

Cosmic Reverie

"The cosmic reverie … is a phenomenon of solitude which has its roots in the soul of the dreamer.

Cosmic reveries separate us from project reveries. They situate us in a world and not in a society. The cosmic reverie possesses a sort of stability or tranquility. It helps us escape time. It is a state. Let us get to the bottom of its essence: it is a state of mind… Poetry supplies us with documents for a phenomenology of the soul. The entire soul is presented in the poetic universe of the poet."

- Gaston Bachelard

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


"Just let yourself fall already."
I was still afraid to open my eyes
The elevator door opened at 9:12am.  I have no idea how long I've been in here, since my phone died and I have no other way to check the time.
The only company I have is the sound of my growling stomach.
And a song stuck in my head.
I have a shovel at least, to dig my subconscious.
And a big mirror.
Too bad the light's out.
Sitting in a lotus position, it's so soothing to just...
Allow my own emptiness to consume me...
My desire is a never ending spiral, vibrating from all the pain.
Crying out for help.
"Yes, how can I help you? Yeah I'd like to find the purpose of life. Would you like fries with that?"
Fuck it, while I'm at it, I might as well fall victim of my own illusions just to pass time.
And scream.
At the top of my lungs.
It's ridiculous. I'm trapped in this elevator, where, as a kid, I'd play with the buttons.
Now, they're just staring at me, almost laughing.
I'm stuck somewhere between the eighth and the ninth.
Eight is just God who decided to stand up.
Too bad he can't reach 9 so I can get off.
I guess that's my purpose.
To figure out how to get to 9.
Laughing hysterically, banging on the walls.
The echo fades away like a riff.
Each time.
I filled my life with echos, only because they sounded good, but in the end, they all faded away.
I look in the mirror. There's someone staring at me. It's hypnotic.
I forgot who I am.
It's absurd.
I think for the past three or four hours I've been yelling "what?!" every two minutes.
Each time I throw the question, I reel back more emptiness.
I wish I had a bed.
I couldn't sleep either way. It's been years since I've slept.
What if I painted something on the mirror?
I'm somewhere in my subconscious.
If I'd start paining, I'd do it in a trance state, then wake up to a finished painting of... myself.
Whose eyes are those?
Why bother spying on me? Can't you see I'm schizophrenic?
Hey. Look at me when I'm talking to you!
Looks like I scared him off.
Even the Devil is afraid of boredom.
There's a memo glued to the ceiling.
"All you need is love."
Suddenly, the elevator falls to zero.
Fuck. I was so close.
Well, it's always fun starting over.

Monday, July 21, 2014

mixed emotions

in a cloud
with the quiet pain
in which I indulge
like a ruin.
above, a rainbow
that I keep trying to grab
and I keep falling
in these clouds
of clueless ideas.
I look up and see
two bright stars
like fire,
they’re the center
of an eternal dance.
I see my shadows
spinning around them
an unmistakable spark
in the abyss.
falling forever
one day
at a time.
one spark
one bright spark
and I’ll be gone.
below, two bluebirds
uniting the sky and the earth…
what a dance!
if only
I would fall already.
I don’t care
if you catch me
I’m happy
in my beautiful
so run
in any direction
the light is never far.
how could it be
if you’re it?


Mourning the loss of my old friend, time
I tick with impatience on the clock named Earth
And see up above a star named fate
Prophet and sage, winking at me
Only far in the eyes of ignorance
Falling apart with each resurrection
As tears flow from them, freeing their fire
Reflecting more and more
On the clock named Earth
As it slowly turns
Towards its final hour.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014


Love is not something that you fall in. Love is something you dig up yourself, fill with water, jump in and swim. And you don't just dig a hole, you dig an ocean. That you get to enjoy after you're done digging.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014


Existence is energy moved around and expressed through will.
Terence Mckenna says "We tend to disempower ourselves. We tend to believe that we don't matter and in the act of taking that idea to ourselves, we give everything away to somebody else, to something else."
The idea here is that by submitting your will to something you don't actually want to do (i.e you want to quit smoking but you're tempted to smoke a cigarette), you're actually manifesting the opposite of your free will's real intention.
The basis is this. If you don't use your will, you don't exist. If you don't take matter into your own hands (see that beautiful expression?), you aren't actually contributing to existence.